20 Things You Will Never Hear A Woman Say

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately; I don't blame you for ignoring me.
2. I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other room, but I still want you right now!
3. This scene is boring; fast forward to the gang bang.
4. Don't get up, I kinda like sleeping in the wetspot.
5. That was fun! When will all of your friends be over to watch pornos again?
6. I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby sitter.
7. You're my daddy, you're my daddy!
8. The new girl in my office used to be a stripper; I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
9. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal, they'll still cover the spread.
10. Bar food again!? Kick ass!
11. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class!
12. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am! Cool; I'm gonna go over and talk to her.
13. I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends; tell me more.
14. I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one; what a wonderful Valentine's Day present! Thanks, "Poopy".
15. Let's just leave the toilet seat up all the time; then you don't have to mess with it anymore.
16. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want 'em?
17. It's only the third quarter; you should order a couple more pitchers!
18. Damn, I love when my pillow smells like your cigars, scotch and morning breath! You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya' big silly!
19. Honey, come here and watch me do a tequila shot off of Stephanie's bare ass!
20. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch Sportscenter.
{ 12:06 PM, July 25, 2006 } { Link }




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